"I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind. I should not be ungrateful to these teachers." - Kahlil Gibran
Apparently, part of the process of reclaiming one's life from a traumatic experience involves recalling anything positive you might have taken away from it. When I was given this advice, I remember thinking "What the....??!! The only thing I've gotten is a wasted decade and the desire to purchase a flame thrower!"
But then I got to thinking about the deeper meaning. Here's the thing: You can dwell all you want to on the bad things that somebody did to you yesterday, last week, last century....have you managed to turn the clock back yet? Or have you just managed to pick up where your abuser left off? I say, enough already!
Instead, why not be grateful for discovering how strong you can be? You have more compassion for others because you know what it feels like to be hurt. You are more open-minded because you have seen first-hand the stupidity of the closed mind. You have run the gauntlet of absurdity, sense of humor intact. So be grateful to the universe that these damaged people came into your life and turned you into a survivor....with a really good Bull$**t detector!
